Rabbi Carnie Shalom Rose to be on Sabbatical Leave,
October 2022 - June 2023
There I was. Anxiously sitting in my seat as our plane remained parked at the departure gate. Checking my watch for the umpteenth time, I began to wonder if I would make it back to St. Louis in time to provide a measure of comfort to a B’nai Amoona family who had prematurely lost a beloved husband, father and grandfather.
After what seemed like an eternity, our flight attendant finally announced our pending departure and then segued into her rendition of the safety features of our aircraft and the security protocols to be followed in the unlikely event of an emergency.
As a relatively frequent flyer, her words of explanation were quite familiar. And yet, as she began to describe what would happen if cabin pressure was lost, my mind began to wander. “An oxygen mask will descend from the compartment above your seat. Place the mask over your nose and mouth and breathe normally. If you are traveling with young children, please secure your mask first and only then assist your child with his/her mask.”
Secure my mask first and then help my child? Really? How utterly counter-intuitive! Wouldn’t any loving parent want to first secure his/her child’s safety and only then turn to her/his own needs? Why would the attendant instruct otherwise?
Of course, when we set aside the emotionality and anxiety associated with such an unhappy scenario, we realize how securing our own air mask first makes perfect sense. For, if we did not care for ourselves first, we might faint from lack of oxygen and thus, be unable to provide for the needs of our children.
Self-care. It is a challenging and much overlooked notion – especially for those of us who work in the “helping professions”. After all, our work is much more than a job – it is “sacred service” and “a holy calling”. Is there really any room for self-care in our line of work?
Candidly, it never really crossed my mind - as a concept that might apply to me - until I was sitting on that airplane hearing the flight attendant remind adults of the need to care for themselves. For if we do not, will we be able to muster the energy necessary to provide for those who count on us? I think not!
As some of you already know, I was originally scheduled to be on Sabbatical in the programmatic/academic year 2018-19. Due to our Atideynu campaign and construction and the search for our next Assistant Rabbi, I was asked to defer my time away from the Shul. And as such, I will now be on Sabbatical leave from October 2022 - June 2023.
Our family hopes to spend the Sabbatical in Israel – developing closer bonds with our people and our Jewish homeland. In addition, it will serve as an opportunity for some much needed study and self-care. A time to reflect, refresh, reinvigorate and deepen so we can return to B’nai Amoona with renewed energy, vitality and enthusiasm.
Rest assured that during my absence, the Shul will be in excellent hands. In fact, our Executive and Personnel Committees are already working on a Klei Kodesh staffing model to ensure that our Shul’s religious, spiritual, educational and pastoral needs will be met during my leave. This important information will be shared in the near future.
For now, dear friends, I would like to express how deeply indebted I am to the entire B’nai Amoona family for this unique opportunity – it is both a gift and a blessing. In addition, I want – in advance - to extend special thanks to my Klei Kodesh colleagues who will undoubtedly bear additional responsibilities during the Sabbatical.
As always, if you have any questions or concern about this (or any matter), please feel free to call or email me.
I conclude my message this month with the profound words of the late existentialist philosopher and theologian, Martin Buber, which I believe capture my deep sense of gratitude to the B’nai Amoona Family. For those unfamiliar with Buber’s writings, he is best known for his teachings around the notions of I-Thou versus I-It relationships. I-It relationships are characterized by detachment from others and involves utilitarianism, in which one uses others as objects. In sharp contradistinction, I-Thou relationships include relating to one another with genuine openness and yearning for engagement. This kind of relationship is characterized by dialogue and by “total presentness.” In a true I-Thou relationship, each participant is deeply concerned for the other and one’s usefulness is of minimal consequence.
"The older we get, the greater becomes our inclination to give thanks…We feel more strongly than we could possibly have felt before that life is a free gift, and (we) receive every unqualifiedly good hour as an unexpected gift. But we also feel, again and again, an urge to thank our brothers and sisters, even if they have not done anything special for us. For what, then, do I thank you? For really meeting me when we met; for opening your eyes, and not mistaking me for someone else; for opening your ears, and listening carefully to what I had to say to you; indeed for opening up to me what I really want to address - your securely locked heart."
With heartfelt thanks for continuing to share so freely and openly of your selves and your hearts, and for engaging with me in profound I-Thou relationships,
Rabbi Carnie Shalom Rose
The Rabbi Bernard Lipnick Senior Rabbinic Chair
ravroseba@bnaiamoona.com
314-576-9990 x105
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