Elul is the Hebrew month preceding the High Holy Days. There are many traditions observed during this month including making time for personal self reflection, study and awareness of our actions towards others. This year's Elevating Elul series includes the reflections and voices of our congregants to help us come together as a community to prepare for the new year.
Our first Elevating Elul contribution is a poem written by BA member, Sara Haluf. As an acute care nurse practitioner in the COVID ICU, Sara has been on the frontlines of the pandemic from the start. Todah Rabbah to Sara for sharing these poignant thoughts and words with us as we Elevate Elul.
Viral Transformation: Reflections on the past year and a half as an Acute Care Nurse Practitioner in the COVID ICU By: Sara Haluf
Did you hear? A virus. Abroad Holding breath. Watching. Waiting Reports of critical illness. Horror. Death
It’s here. Now what? Get ready Protocols. Security. Isolation Equipment shortages. Staff shortages. Fear
Our first patients. Alone. Scared Strangers in gowns. Masks. Face shields Research. Treatment Protocols. Time
Oxygen. Intubations. Dialysis Steroids. Antivirals. Supportive Care Pain. So much pain. Suffering
Spreading misinformation. Confusion. Blame Lack of trust. Conspiracies. What happened?
People are dying. So many people. So much death Can’t they see it? We see it. We’re still here Holding hands. Watching them gasp. Suffocating
Finally. The Vaccines. A miracle Rolled up sleeves. Eager smiles. We made it Indescribable relief. Tears streaming hot. Hope!
Vaccine hesitancy. Propaganda. Distrust Refusals. Personal freedom over responsibility. Lies Fighting. Anger. Hostility
Patients still in denial on the verge of death. Gasping. Arguing We’re screamed at for caring. Accused of lying. Unbelievable Continuing to provide care despite it all. With sadness. Defeat
Things should be better by now. We watch with anger. It’s different this time The unvaccinated are sick. Dying. It was their choice, right? Refused the prevention. Begging for survival. Do everything now.
Exhausted. Helpless. Traumatized Rage. Desolation. Resentment Another new admission. Unvaccinated. Collectively dejected
We used to be heroes. Now we’re accused of conspiracy. Hypocrisy How far we’ve fallen. As a people. The world
The inability to see past oneself. So selfish. Disappointing
Compassion Fatigue. PTSD. Burnout Everyone’s leaving. Enough. No more Who will care for the caregivers? The silent casualties. The cost of caring
